Loving Orange County #3: Lazy Together

16 Apr

I love lazy hang out time. When my sisters and I go to our parents’ house for the holidays, we watch videos, eat home cooked food, try on each other’s clothes, sing karaoke, look at photos, and talk and laugh for days on end. Times are best when we don’t have any plans and don’t have to be anywhere at any particular time.

In Oakland, there are only a few friends I had with whom I felt comfortable just hanging out with no plans. Usually when I spent time with people, we would do something specific: jog, attend an event, watch a film, have a meal. I like those things and sometimes that’s all you can do when people are highly scheduled, but there’s something special about the “let’s just hang out and do whatever for however long” time together.

Orange County is all about lazy hang out time. Between my family, my partner’s family, and longtime friends, I spend a lot of time these days doing nothing with people. And I love it.

My cousin had a party yesterday for all of us local cousins and the invitation said 2pm start time. I was feeling all anxious about arriving an hour late because I didn’t know how long the party would last. I should have known that her party would stay true to what my family does all the time: we left at 1am. We talked, watched movies and a stand-up comedian (Russell Peters, hilarious), played a board game, tried spa products, ate constantly. You know, 10 hours of pure hang out time.

As I write this, I’ve been at my partner’s family’s house for four hours. We are playing on our iphones, chatting with each other, watching Food Network, playing video games, snacking, showing his mom how to use her cell phone….so, essentially doing nothing.

I like being alone in my space and I do a lot of solitary activities (like writing this blog), but having grown up in a house with 8 people, shared a bedroom for most of my life, and enjoyed the college dorm experience (with a co-ed bathroom shared by 30 people no less), I like having people around. The introvert in me especially loves it when there are no expectations of engagement, just a common understanding that it’s nice to be near each other.

Whereas I used to only get this kind of hang out time twice a year, I now get it almost every weekend. I haven’t tired of it yet. It makes me feel at home.

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2 Responses to “Loving Orange County #3: Lazy Together”

  1. Carol April 17, 2012 at 7:39 am #

    You’ve nailed it! I’ve been spending more time with my family back east and it’s exactly this lazy together time that I love. I’m even trying it out in SF although the challenge is that people want to be really “present” all the time. I think my dream birthday party would be having everyone around interacting with each other while I watched sports/read a magazine/play on my iPad. An introvert can dream…

    • cil1977 April 20, 2012 at 5:01 pm #

      LOL about people wanting to be “present.” Thanks, Carol!

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